for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize