Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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