She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize