Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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