I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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