i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
