Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
