Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
