Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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