I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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