I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
