i don't like sucking hair
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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