is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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