just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
