I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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