I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize