Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize