After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
