1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize