benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
