i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
