I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
