Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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