Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
