My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
