please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
