So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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