We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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