I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You're like the curious george of whores
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
