did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
