sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
