So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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