we have officially mastered the walk of shame
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
