forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
cat food counts as protein by the way
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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