"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
