i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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