When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
