I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
