i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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