Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
