adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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