bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
