I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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