That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
