he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
