I wish my penis had an off switch
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
