You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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