i barfeds in our rink
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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