I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
