so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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