pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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