Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
did i just pee glitter
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
