You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
