We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
