im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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