There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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