every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
