Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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