Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
