He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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