I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
