How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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