i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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