I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
