Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
