I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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