i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
