Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
