I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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