Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
